MTV saves marriage from big fat FOX

Big. Fat. Obnoxious.

No, these aren't exactly the words that my last date used to describe me.

They are, however, part of the FOX network's newest attempt to mingle reality and scripted TV into a fusion of dysfunctional wedding fun in "My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé."

It is highly likely that many of you tuned in last night to see the second episode in the six-part series. Much to your amusement, you watched as 23-year-old Randi Coy, a first grade teacher from Scottsdale, tried to pass off a big, fat, obnoxious professional actor named Steve as her fiancé as he attempts to flirt and fart his way to Randi's heart.

In what FOX calls "the ultimate practical joke," Randi must convince her disapproving family that she and Steve are truly engaged. According to the show, Randi "must make it all the way through the wedding ceremony and final 'I do's' in order to win a million dollars."

Is this truly what little respect is left for a sacred institution such as marriage? Granted, most people are willing to do anything for a buck, but is it really worth it to say "I do" when, in fact, you don't? The show is a joke. But be that as it may, it shows a complete lack of reverence for marriage in general and shows what little impact marriage has on today's couples.

Randi's family is as detrimental to the process as she is. If it were Evan Marriott, the handsome simpleton of "Joe Millionaire" fame, I am convinced that the outcome would be slightly altered. (It's a marriage pun, get it?) Randi's family would probably be more willing to tolerate the farting, breaking vases, and telling his future father-in-law that he can't wait to sleep with his daughter if it were coming from an attractive guy. But as the heaving gut on the show's Web site proves, FOX and the family are putting the emphasis on the "Fat" part of the title.

Ironically, I find more substance in the MTV reality programs that showcase married couples. Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne may be freakishly foul with the "f-bomb," Jessica Simpson may have the intelligence of a can of tuna (or is it chicken?), and Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro may get naked for the wedding invites, but there is an underlying theme of happiness, love and the will to just make things work, things that couples should strive for to have a solid marriage. The major networks would have us believe that these values have departed.

The big networks use manipulation, greed, envy and debauchery while depending on the destruction of self-esteem to boost their ratings. MTV shows love in strange and eclectic ways while big networks incessantly continue to raffle off trophy wives.

Misleading people is one of the bulkiest themes in reality TV. "Paradise Hotel," another FOX byproduct, was built entirely upon deception through secret alliances. But let's get real, the series showed little paradise and just a lot of shacking up.

Another example is NBC's "Average Joe" and "Average Joe 2: Hawaii," a show that eliminates any real potential of Larissa, a former Miss Missouri, selecting an "Average Joe" by predictably ushering in every Abercrombie and Fitch designer's dream: eight overconfident, hormone-induced "hunks."

Twist the knife a bit deeper into the Joes' frail, little hearts, why don't you?

Marriage deserves more respect than it gets from shows that deliver cheap moments of entertainment. The sad part is we watch it, accept it and adopt it. Be unique and don't say "I do" to these shows.

As for Randi and Larissa, fear not, their fifteen minutes of fame shall soon pass. Hopefully their chances at a legitimate and good marriage won't go with it.