Today...

I doubt there's a day that's gone by in the past five years where the horrific episode of events that happened today was mentioned. We've all become accustomed to hearing terror threats on TV distinguished by the prismatic scale developed by the Department of Homeland Security. We've all become accustomed to hearing about the absence of two of the worlds most iconic buildings on the New York horizon. We've rebuilt the damaged portion of the Pentagon, we've made movies depicting the United flight that crashed in rural Pennsylvania and the heroic Port Authority police officers who risked their lives to save as many other lives as they could.

The country bonded, as it often only does in the event of a tragedy such as this. But, unfortunately, I must admit that the biggest feeling I remember five years ago today was confusion. I was serving as a missionary in Siena, Italy then, and while I can remember that day as if it was yesterday, I think perhaps my journal entry of that day would explain it better...

11 settembre 2001

martedi'

Siena, Italy


"Again, it's been a little while since I've written, but in all honesty - the things I have to write in the next lines are not the most pleasing things."

"Today had been a fairly good day... Tonight, we had intentions of beginning English class, but when we got to the church, we didn't get what we bargained for."

"When we got to the church, Igor, Inessa, and Anna all came out and told us in broken English, Italian, and Russian to come in and watch the TV with them because something was happening in the U.S. What we saw on the TV screen had to be the most horrible disaster I had seen in my life. Granted, I'm not some nonagenarian who's lived through several wars and atrocities, but what I saw on that TV screen was the worst thing I'd seen in my 20 years."

"When I looked at the TV screen, I saw the twin towers of the World Trade Center in New York City ablaze and encircled in smoke. A plane had crashed into the south tower, and eventually another would crash into the other tower as well. In a matter of minutes, we watched the south tower collapse before our eyes... the other tower came down as well. Two New York, two WORLD landmarks destroyed before the eyes of the entire world population..."

"Even more incredible was when the screen flashed to the Pentagon. I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw a whole chunk of the building completely destroyed. A plane was alleged to have crashed into the Military Nerve Center at the Pentagon, with several people injured."

"As one would be able to imagine, mass chaos ensued - but I admire the people greatly who evacuated the affected areas. Lower Manhattan, the United Nations building, Capitol Hill, the Supreme Court, historic sites in Philadelphia, Disneyland, Disneyworld, New York area airports, LAX, Reagan and Dulles Airports were all evacuated and closed. The FAA closed all domestic flights, and all international flights were diverted to Canada for the first time in commercial aviation history."

"It is obviously a sad time for our people. The mass amount of people who lost their lives must be a number too enormous for me to think about. President Bush has vowed to "hunt down and punish" those responsible. At the current time, he's also hiding at an undisclosed location."

"Already tonight, we received a phone call from the zone leaders giving us additional precautions. Supposedly the consulate in Florence received bomb threats as well. Immediately, we were told to stay away from American establishments, such as McDonald's, and American student housing. Our mission president passed on to us to keep a low profile, and to not leave the house if we don't feel up to it. Yeah right, we'll see about that."

"At this point we all don't really know what to think. Our country has never been attacked like this - people are saying that this is definitely worse than Pearl Harbor. I kind of wish that my granddaddy was still around - he was a Pearl Harbor survivor..."

"Well, I don't know what else I can write. Honestly, I feel sick after seeing what happened, and I want to go to sleep...if I can."

13 ottobre 2001

sabato

Siena, Italy


"The world has calmed down slightly since the attack on the U.S. We as missionaries became less worried as far as what would happen to us. No more talks of getting reassigned or going home. We carried on with work, and everything has been okay."

"It's now been a month since the great attack happened. Things had calmed down slightly, but the world population continued to anticipate something greater from the U.S. Strangely enough, the weekend of General Conference, we were in Prato to watch it via satellite. During the Sunday Morning Session, President Hinckley said, 'I've just been handed a note telling me that the U.S. has launched an attack in Afghanistan.' Our fear shot up for a moment, but again, now after a week, we've calmed down again. But, the attacks have lasted the whole week, and apparently we're at full-fledged war. Who would've thought that with all of the other types of experiences I've had on my mission that a war would break out too - go figure."

"We were a little shocked again when Italy was the first European country mentioned to have possible attacks against American symbols. Nothing has happened so far. Let's hope it doesn't."

I must say that we were all a little scared in the mission. There were even a handful of missionaries who said they were willing to cut their missions short to go home and enlist and fight. Of course it didn't happen - and at the time, we didn't think it would be necessary - but now, I've seen friends and family alike serve tours in Afghanistan and Iraq.

I have kept relatively silent about my feelings of this day. As I left for my mission, the twin towers were the last thing I could see as my plane went further and further away from New York City. And they were the first thing we noticed missing when we were making our trip home.

A handful of missionaries - including myself - were a bit teary at that point just before we landed. Were we crying because we had just spent the best two years of our lives serving the Lord in an amazing country and would now be leaving each other? Or were we mourning over the events that had taken place eight months earlier? I think it's safe to say it was a mixture of both. "It's a different city," one of my Elders said looking out the window.

Right after the attacks, I was still in Siena, and I was in need of renewing my permesso di soggiorno (like my green card), which, at times, can be a very annoying process. I never received one in Vicenza while I was serving in Bassano, but I did in Florence almost eight months after I had arrived in Italy. Now I was to go through the process again in Siena. I waited in line at the police headquarters until I finally got to the window. I glanced to the left in the office behind the glass, and a TWA poster advertising New York City - with the twin towers at the center - was hanging next to a female officer's desk. Everyone in the office looked at me sorrowfully, and frankly - I felt rather awkward. The officer across from me reviewing my papers said, "Mi dispiace molto per quello ch'e' successo negli stati uniti." I didn't really expect an apology from him, but I thanked him for his concern. After all I had gone through to renew my permesso, this time at the questura the were no questions asked. The officer took my application and in about a minute returned with my new permesso, valid for another year. He smiled, said "buona fortuna" (good luck) and I was off. As I was leaving the office, the female officer appeared at the door and asked if I wanted the poster over her desk. I said no, but thank you.

Above all today, my heart aches for all those that lost loved ones. As I watched TV this morning, there was a photo montage of the days events from five years ago with Samuel Barber's "Adagio for Strings" being played. With that song, and those images, you can't help but to mourn and let a few tears drop - but even moreso, be so thankful to God for all that you have.

Five years later, let us keep in mind that good will triumph over evil. Always.